The majority of women I work with come to me because something happened to them during a previous pregnancy that resulted in some type of baby or pregnancy loss. Now, they are pregnant again—anxious and frightened. The formula they had put in place last time will not work for them now. I’ll hear things like, “I adore my OB, but going back into that waiting room, seeing the receptionist, hearing those phones ring sends me into a panic,” “The second bank of elevators in that building is where I was when the call came in,” or, “The ultrasound room has too many bad memories for me.”

New OB/GYN with a New Pregnancy

For many of these women, they want a fresh start. They want a new office, a new doctor, and in some cases, a new hospital altogether. Their OB may have graduated at the top of their class from Harvard or Princeton, but to these women, it’s a bad feeling, a foreboding premonition, a bad omen to return. I tell them that there are no rules—it is up to them to make the decision that feels right. One patient told me that after she became pregnant again and went to several visits at her old OB’s office, the OB told her that seeing how painful it was for this patient to return to the “scene of the crime” each month for her checkups was too hard to watch. The OB told the patient to switch to another doctor, and to return once the baby was born. That is exactly what the patient did—that OB clearly cared about her patient.

Extra Medical Care to Avoid Pregnancy Loss

I have other patients who decide that being seen by a high-risk doctor, even if they are not considered high risk, is what they need to feel safe and cared for. Maternal Fetal Medicine groups generally need to determine if a patient is actually considered “high risk” before they will agree to admit the patient to the practice. In some cases, anxiety or not, the patient will not meet the practice requirements for admission. In those cases, I have patients who embark on a hybrid approach—they see their regular OB, but have that OB consult with a high-risk group along the way if issues or complications arise during the course of pregnancy.

Private Practice vs. Medical Center

Some patients believe that the reason their previous pregnancy was not successful was because although they are confident with their specific OB, the practice as a whole was too big and they slipped through the cracks. It is these women who are drawn to work with a sole practitioner. They have regular appointments with the same doctor, the same person returns all of their calls and emails, and for the most part, this doctor is the one that delivers their baby. They say things like, “I felt like he was in the pregnancy with me. Whenever I needed to go to triage for a heart check, he would call ahead and they would be waiting for me. He never made me feel crazy—he understood!”

The bottom line is that one size does not fit all when it comes to becoming a parent. The good news is that in 2014 there are many ways to get from point A to point B without sacrificing your sanity. At The Blossom Method it is our mission to help you get through your pregnancy after a loss, to offer our support and counseling, and to help you to design a plan that works for you.

We understand that you are just being cautious and careful, and that you need a helpful ear to listen or shoulder to lean on, and that’s why we’re here—we provide helpful services for those who need it most. When you need somewhere to turn, whether you’re pregnant again after a loss or are experiencing anxiety about becoming pregnant after struggling to get there, we’re here for you.